Why are so many leaving Social Media?

Some days I open my Facebook page to find myself in the midst of a social media war zone. Social media is fast becoming less and less of a pleasure for many of us. I have many friends who have left Facebook or Twitter entirely and some who are deliberately avoiding those and other social media sites, for many months now, even a year. Some are never coming back. What could possibly be behind this shift in the wind where so many are taking leave of an almost anti-social place we once thought fun and social? While my own ongoing observations and opinions may not be one hundred percent conclusive, I think with my years online I know at least a couple of reasons why this is happening.

People don’t “hear” you right. Yes, I said “hear.” Too many jump to conclusions over almost nothing and all of their communication thereafter is based entirely on “their own” misguided assumptions and not a single thing you said or shared. For example, I posted a funny last year about Facebook use that said things like: we would never share our meals, our private homes, our children, our travels etc with strangers on the street and yet we will share them madly with virtual strangers on Facebook. For this post I received a lot of laughs and one lengthy lecture on Facebook use. I dared reply to the lecture in a reasonable fashion and found myself promptly blocked. Over-stuffed egos exist all over Social Media and I believe they are one of the main reasons we cannot be fairly “heard.”

Just the other day I was taken to task for using the word “should” – yes, it’s true! I actually replied and should not have because anytime we are justifying, we should stop or it could go on forever. Which it was. So I stopped and deleted everything I had said as well as blocked the person who appeared on a mission to hammer me no matter what I said because she could not “hear” me anyway. No matter what I said, my single innocent use of the word “should” continued to offend her and only when I stepped away did I realize she will never ever “hear” me or anyone else using the word “should” who intended no ill or no malice toward her or others on the thread. I found myself suddenly being skewered because she cannot “hear” properly and obviously has some intense mental health issues around the word “should.”

Which leads me to another problem I have witnessed on Facebook. We have no way of knowing who suffers from mental health issues and answering them or communicating with them in any way at all can lead to huge communication problems because nobody ever announces: “I have mental health issues,” they just join in and you find out for yourself as they unravel online.

Political postings have no place in my social media. I know some live and breathe politics but Facebook is not the place to shove your beliefs, political, religious or otherwise, down people’s throats. We get enough of that stuff on television, in our newspapers and on the radio as well as in phone calls to our homes and door knockers who should also know better by now. Trust me when I say we don’t need those things regurgitated daily in our social media feed. Try starting your own blog about the issues you care about instead. This way you instantly improve your social media presence and have a great place for the like minded to gather without ruining the social media experiences of others.

Ranting is another indulgence I see happening all too often. What gives with that? Wouldn’t an hour or two with an actual therapist help you better than dumping all over the heads of your social media friends? Besides, who has all that time to write pages long rants nobody gives a damn about…I sure don’t. Though I, admittedly, have indulged in ranting myself once or twice in the past, I swiftly learned ranting is the perfect way to repel readers and friends.

These may not suit everyone but, based on my own experiences and observations, I have developed a few Social Media guidelines that may, eventually, help lift the experience for everyone:

  1. Regurgitated news. If it was already on the news in the newspaper, on the television or on the radio, don’t share and share and share and share and share and share and share…you get the picture. Nobody needs regurgitated news casts. Nobody.
  2. Never assume anything. Before you pounce to post your piece in answer to another’s post or share, slow down a bit and ask some questions. For example, “I get this from your post/share, is that what you really meant or believe?” See? Simple.
  3. NO LECTURING! We are all big people who do just fine without the lecture by, obviously, self-centered arrogant judgers who think you must hear what they have to say. No, we must not. Period. You do your thing on your pages and I do mine, it’s called “respect.” If you feel an urge to lecture, just cast it aside and move on silently or risk permanently showing us who you really are all over social media. Your choice.
  4. Attacking others. If you are going to take someone to task for anything whether it is a single word you misinterpret or assuming they are trying to “sell” their blog or anything else or a even a post they share that you do not like, make sure you know them well enough in the REAL world to justify your lofty assumptions and even then if you must do it, take them to task PRIVATELY. Otherwise, recognize it is just your own prickly issue and nobody really gives a damn or needs to see your ego spout off on their own social media page. Just move on. Quietly.
  5. Chain letters have no place in my social media world. If it wasn’t bad enough people tried to scare us out of our wits in the snail mail over decades past, fear mongering us to participate in some silliness, now we have to put up with this online. No. We don’t. Anyone who posts anything that says I will die by morning if I don’t play along is likely right in some sense. I will permanently disappear off their radar, that much is certain. No chain shares/letters, please and thank you.
  6. On to games now…let the games begin. Seriously, you have all that time to play games and keep sending me invites? What the hell. I barely have time in a day to block that garbage but I do because it’s the only way I can be assured of not having to see it again. Badgering people to play by sending constant invites means the games get blocked and maybe eventually you will, too. Play if you wish but don’t nag others.
  7. Blind support. Racing to show blind support for something unworthy of all that time and effort is neither fair nor productive. If two people are in an exchange that goes south, let them sort it out which they will or they will drop it as I have seen many times online. Many times I have also seen “blindly jumping in” escalate the situation into a war like conflict over something that was not even worth the time and keystrokes in the first place. Conserve time and keystrokes for what really matters. Blind support achieves nothing. 
  8. Friending people just because you can is unwise. If you have a real world or online connection, that’s great (mine online are writing groups, support groups and family groups). I usually accept those I know or have communicated with in other places online. Accepting random requests from strangers may result in your account being hacked or your pictures and information being used by scammers to set up false profiles all over the world in questionable groups and sites you would never ever choose to be a part of. No “stranger” friends.
  9. Know your purpose. Get in, do your thing, get out. I know myself all too well how easy it is to keep scrolling, scrolling, scrolling and reading, reading, reading, trying to make sure I see every single share by people I love. Countless hours can slip by and an entire evening or whatever time you wanted to be doing something else is gone. Gone. You can never get those minutes or hours back. I now check in, fulfill my purpose and check out as fast as I can. Purpose fulfilled.
  10. Unnecessary Posting. Right up there with political and religious rants are the myriad postings of bleeding, hurt animals, deformed children and other things we already see more than enough of from reputable news and public relations sources which many of these posts online are not (read the fine print or the poster, it’s usually not a reputable news source but someone hyping the drama to collect clicks). Causes are good, I totally get that and am all for kindness to every person and every creature. And I support many causes online because I have seen them achieve great things for their efforts. But constantly ramming your causes at people online is the same as ranting, political and religious over sharing. Same with asking for money for any reason. Once is enough. Overdo it and you will soon be unfollowed. Once is enough.
  11. Manic posting. Don’t do it! You may think you should share every single picture of a cute animal, every beautiful nature shot or every single prayer ever known to man. I love animals, nature and enjoy reading prayers and other inspirational posts but after hundreds sail by from the same poster, my eyes glaze over. Hundreds of posts by those who obsessively fill our feed are just not fun. Eventually people grow post weary, I have discovered, and just scroll past without stopping to look at a single thing the “overposters” post. No “overposting!”
  12. Be nice. If you can’t be nice you probably shouldn’t be on social media anyway. Nobody likes a curmudgeon and nothing makes a place feel toxic faster than people who are not nice. Also, don’t expect apologies for anything online. People are so stuck on their notions online, I find, it never even occurs to them they had no business tearing you apart with a lecture or any other sort of criticism they attack you with. For one thing, these self appointed “judgers” have all of that “false pride” sitting glaring at them on the internet in the form of what they said and they can’t very well back down now and do humble… or can they? They likely can but don’t want to. The further they dig their heels in, the further they dig their heels in and trying to reason with a brick pretty much sums it up. Ignore them and move on. And be nice in spite of these online curmudgeons, critics and self appointed judges. Be nice or be quiet.

Finally (and I bet you are very glad to read that word by now), think about what you are burning and itching to say on social media before you say it. Ask yourself, 1. Is it kind? And 2. Is it necessary?  If you answer NO to either question, best to move on in my opinion. Quietly. No more self appointed judges. More “askers” and less “assumers,” please.

We may not be able to fix everything that has gone awry with social media but we can improve our own “zones” in an effort to make the experience what it was meant to be: fun and social. Hopefully, over time, that will create a big enough “ripple” to offset some of the other elements that make it no longer fun or social for so many.

If I never see another angry post or angry face (when did posting “angry face” become so fashionable, ugh) or somebody selling something or other or another set of ugly duck lips on manically posted selfies so long as I shall live, that will be just fine by me.

What was once considered fun and social is now a chore for many of us, often hostile and, in my opinion,  becoming more and more “anti-social.” Who needs a big chore that many of us have grown to dread so much we just opt out? I haven’t yet opted out myself but I am going on these sites less and less every single day. It’s just not time well spent in my opinion, if it’s not happy making or helpful in some way, why bother… well, that’s it for me.

Peace be yours.

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114 thoughts on “Why are so many leaving Social Media?

  1. There is a lot of truth in what you write Janni. My FB was for my overseas family initially and then it grew. I used to feet compelled to post certain things but now it’s more reading…. or scrolling on! Twitter is for my blog and writing. Instagram and Snapchat. I have but don’t really understand!
    But I would definitely rather speak to someone rather than just use social media !

    Liked by 6 people

  2. Here’s another tip, be careful what you post on social media, because you never know who’s watching, and if it will get back to your boss, client, etx. I try to make my social media presence both professional and engaging.

    Liked by 5 people

  3. Reblogged this on and commented:
    I enjoyed these guidelines even though I break a lot of them! Hahah -OM
    Note: Comments disabled here. Please visit their blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. That was a good read and great advice! 🙂 I shared this on.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. By far the main reason a lot of people are leaving social media, in my own humble opinion, is the hatred that has been growing over this years presidential elections as well as how the media stokes the fire and hatred as well. There’s nothing “social” about social media anymore. It has now turned into a venue in which anyone can spread hate and discontent and remain anonymous. And, if you respond to these individuals with “facts” it doesn’t matter. So it’s best to either ignore these people or bail out of sites that encourage this type of “social media” idiocy.

    Liked by 4 people

  6. This is an excellent post and “right on”, for sure! I recently wrote about this issue, myself, though not in depth, as you have. So thank you for your post. I will definitely be sharing it.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you so much for your comment and for sharing. I had no idea this post would resonate with so many. Glad it is, though, because the best changes can sprout from the tiniest of discussions. Would love to read what you wrote on the subject. Going to your pages now and thanks again. 😊

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      • This is the piece I wrote. Thanks for asking. It wasn’t as in-depth as yours. None-the-less, I felt the need to speak out. I used to blog a lot, but quit about 3 years ago and just resumed blogging a month ago. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

      • Thank you, glad you are back so we could connect here 😊

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      • Hi, Jane. I went to your Facebook page but couldn’t find the piece you wrote. Maybe I am missing something, not sure.

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      • Thank you, will read asap.

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      • Love the poem! Great way to express yourself and give the reader a break from miles of prose (which I am often guilty of). Because I have Fibromyalgia, Polymyalgia Rheumatica, Chronic Fatigue (which all often makes me sound drunk or look drunk though I do not drink, take drugs or smoke anything at all) as well as PTSD, I am in many health groups but only frequent a couple, that’s all I have time for really, my eyes will only take so much reading and screen time. Anyway, because I am in these groups, I fully understand how it can be negative and burdensome. Many are suffering daily and sometimes there is nothing for it but to say, I hear you, I am here with you, I understand. So many in our real world can’t see anything wrong with us or refuse to hear that, even though the groups can be wearying, I am so grateful to be understood, I will likely remain in those groups. Your suggestion of taking a break when saturated is a great idea. A couple of days or a week away is a great way to refill the heart and soul. Thanks for sharing this with me, much appreciated.

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      • Thank you, The support groups allow us to be heard and understood, but, when things get too heavy or too negative, I take breaks and focus on self care. Like you, I have numerous illness, so I understand the challenges. I really enjoyed your piece and your writing style. I hope to read more of your work.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Aw, that is so lovely, thank you. Hope to read more of your writings as well.

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  7. VERY well said, Janni! I love to read your writing! Thank you for putting this very important topic into words for us. I’m afraid I have let a stranger friend me but have promptly blocked him. I’ve also been hiding a lot of people’s pages that they share. I think I will just read FB once a week. Thanks for your encouragement and your tips. Love, peace and happiness to you, too, Janni!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ah, Debb, so nice to connect here. Glad you enjoyed your read. This piece lived too long in my head as I witnessed the social media happenings. Time to get it out of my head. Thanks for liking my writing, and likewise, I enjoy reading yours as well.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. ‘…nobody ever announces: “I have mental health issues,”…’

    I do. I have.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I got so upset about commenting about the political situation in Britain with people I don’t know. I cried for a day. As great as SM can be -people interpret what we type in their own way. Sometimes it pushes buttons. a lot of people are selling stuff on FB. I never go on Twitter- I find it terribly confusing and pointless. FB is infested with MLM companies poaching people to make a few bucks. It is deplorable. Then there is the way people portray their lives. I don’e believe for one second that life is as perfect and wonderful as people make out. It’s great to share our success and happiness but that sometimes makes me feel crap about my life and who I am. I compare my life to what is shown to me in a one dimensional view. I try and stay away from it. I upload pics and stuff because I have family living all over the world but I never seem to get the people I knew in my life actually reading my stuff. I get that life is busy but what is the point of making an effort too keep in touch with someone who doesn’t reciprocate?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Everything you say is so accurate from the “unreality” factor to MLM infestation and the reciprocity factor. I have liked and liked and liked and yet some never, even for years and years, never like back. It’s as if they and what they do are important while nothing about us is. Just a few months ago I commented on a relatives post and was immediately attacked, not just once but three times by a friend of hers who used my full name each time. I replied reasonably even though no one else on the entire thread was pulled up like that despite saying such harsh things (which I did not). So what did the relative do? Liked every single attacky comment of the errant thinking person. Go figure. Not a word to defend me in such a just plain wrong and unfair situation. Long distance family (who are mostly all lovely to me), real world friends and writer friends are all that keep me there. Sigh. I wish we could change it. And fast. Not sure it will happen though, humans being humans hard wired to their patterns much like the addicted brain, I won’t hold my breath waiting. Thanks for your comment, you really got me thinking again. Something’s gotta give as the movie title says, lol, something’s gotta give.

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      • I do wonder about the human condition and what technology is doing to our mind- neurologically butt it is best to spend time investing energy on those you truly matter. Yup, something does have to give- ha ha! Or people.

        Liked by 2 people

      • I wonder about those things, too. If what has happened so far is any indication, I fear for us all. Technology has no mercy, it was supposed to make our lives easier but, in my observation, it has created a whole angry, impatient society. I know there are advantages to technology. Still, when I look around, I feel it has done more harm than good. Maybe we can reverse it somehow. I sure hope so.

        Liked by 2 people

      • That is the thing.. Can we live without it? do we want to?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Myself, I believe we can live without it just fine, we did until the internet became so accessible many years ago. Many are so addicted they don’t want to put it down for even a second, yet many of my writer friends have opted out totally and they are doing great, loving every minute of their new found peace. I think it’s all fine in balance but like all things, moderation is the key. I can start reading posts and get caught up in it, unwittingly donating my precious time for no good reason at all, it’s so easy to lose time this way. Still, the only person I get angry at for time wasting is me, all things in balance and I am much happier. Well, that’s me, lol, have a great day 😊

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  10. I have come to the conclusion that social media is mostly a trap. It consumes masses of time better spent on things that benefit the communities we live in.

    Liked by 2 people

    • And with this comment which I thank you for, my mind immediately goes to Jean Vanier and all he says and writes of “Becoming Human” and community. Great way to sum it up, a trap. Human minds being what they are, most in that trap behave in typical addict fashion instead of springing themselves free. Then again, I suppose many cannot even see what a trap it is. Myself included; it took me a while to realize how bad all that daily negativity really is for my well being and some, again like addicts, may never even be able to acknowledge that even while they continue “going off” and scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. A trap, indeed.

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  11. Janni….spot on. Couldn’t agree more, espesh about the game players. Oh and the chain letters, You also get these folks who want you to show how you care by cutting and pasting because some friend of a friend of a friend of a friend has depression or cancer. There’s also those who tag you so their shitty post comes up on your timeline which I do not let anything on now because of that, add you to groups you would NOT join in a zillion years without your consent–something Facebook need to stop. Then there’s all the l’ike my author page’ or ‘my new book page’ requests from someone who never returns the favor to anyone –fastest way for me to block them. These stupid groups where the same person says the same thing at the same time every day. I only do facebook cos as a writer I am contractually obliged otherwise you could shove it and twitter where the sun don’t shine. The word ‘social ‘ is what cracks me up. It is anything but. Rant over!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lol! Love the way you rant. You totally added to my piece with issues I forgot, tagging, adding to groups and like fests that only go one way. Strangers daily ask me to review their books, too, with nary a stitch of reciprocity. My tactic of late is to suggest we exchange reviews and post a link to my FREE ebook. Of course they want me to BUY theirs so they vanish. Good riddance. These are not the writers I want to build community with anyway, in some way it is a favour that they OUT themselves so perfectly so early on. For the life of me I cannot fathom why people take and take and take (as in likes, reviews etc) as though they are deserving because they are royalty or some other form of self appointed arrogance in motion. Well. Like I said, they SHOW us who they are in the most public place in the world, the internet. Glad we connected, Shehanne, you rock.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Excellent blog entry, Janni!! I need a “love” button! I am guilty of play some games, but I try to only invite people I know are playing.

    I use “hide” an awful lot, especially during this election.

    Grace and peace,
    Jeff

    Liked by 2 people

    • Lol, no love button but your always wise words are ever welcome, Jeff. I hear you on turning off posts from the “politickers” – why they think sparring and raging online is attractive eludes me. Games are fine, I love word games but like you, I don’t nag others. In my early days of Facebook I engaged in a Farm game with long distance relatives but the shine dulled swiftly when I realized it could go on forever. When I do get a chance to play a word game these days, I do it against the computer, that way I don’t bother anybody and nobody can get mad at me if I win, lol.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. I followed Jason’s (opinionated man) link here and I found your post very interesting. I did read it a couple of times though because I wanted to make sure I understood what you are trying to say about the mentally ill. I am mentally ill. Severely mentally ill. But I have not announced myself on facebook, and I write my blog and my tweets under a pen name. Because I want people to answer me and communicate with me. I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt, that you didn’t really mean what you said to come out the way I “heard” it. Just, please, be careful. We matter, too.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I hope reading the rest of my post beyond that one line gave you some context. No offence or insult was intended. I suffer from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which runs the gamut from anxiety to depression and everything in between). This is the result of a 2012 physical assault by two people I once loved and trusted (one for 34 years, the other for 20 years both of whom lied to the police so even though it was two against one and I did not incite it, my 20 year friend did, the police said their stories matched and mine did not so they dropped the charges. Of course mine did not, it was the only TRUE version of events that night. Instead of police rescuing me, they became abusers supportive of the two attackers though one was blithering drunk and the other lying because she knew her RN career would come to a grinding halt if she admitted what she did to me – kicking me while the other held my arms and I could do nothing to defend myself from her blows). Anyway, I say this to underline the fact that no ill or malice was intended in my post. Everything online is open to interpretation which is part of the problem I try to describe. You may note the one woman I mention who got stuck on my use of the word “should.” She obviously has many issues to carry on like that over a little six letter word. I tried to treat her like she mattered and she just would not let go of the bone she was chewing on. Had she announced she had such mental health issues with the use of such tiny words, I would not have tried to reason with her at all. This is what I mean and nothing I say is meant to attack anyone. Of course you matter. We all do. But that doesn’t entitle us to abuse others just because of our own mental health issues and that is what that FB user was doing to me. Again, I hope reading beyond that line will give you better context in light of the focus of the piece, nothing hurtful intended whatsoever.

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      • I did get a better perspective with multiple readings (cognitive imparments as a result of my medications sometimes mess me up) and I assumed that I was misunderstanding what your intent was with that paragraph. But, I had to say something. I’m happy to know that you didn’t mean anything cruel by it, although I’m terribly sad to hear that such harm was done to you by people that you trusted.
        Thanks so much!

        Liked by 2 people

      • So glad my reply helped. I only shared my experience to let you know I struggle with mental health issues thanks to being physically assaulted into PTSD. Some days I just can’t do anything, everything hurts inside me and outside (it seems to even flare my Fibromyalgia, Polymyalgia Rheumatica and Chronic Fatigue) and I have to just keep the blinds closed or risk further anxiety and stress. I struggle with trust because so many others I loved and trusted sided with those abusers and compounded the cruelties I suffered horribly. They don’t side with them anymore but they have never even apologized so they make it impossible to ever trust them again. My issues aren’t exactly the same as yours but I do understand feeling fragile. I think it’s pretty normal for us to feel that way when things overwhelm or stress us, no matter the source. I still have days where I can’t stop questioning how all those people could be so cruel. Still, some seem to revel in hurting others. I am so grateful you get that I am not among those. I didn’t like that you were hurting so and thought about you all night. I shared more of my background on a post on your page because the subject of your post was so compelling, I just had to comment. So glad you are feeling better about my post. Hope you are having a great day.

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      • It’s just terrible the way some people act. And, in my opinion, it’s hard to really confront them because it does more damage to us then it helps.

        Liked by 2 people

      • That is true. It can be so harrowing to stand up for yourself or for the truth. I think the abusers and harmers rely on our weariness so they can keep getting away with what they are doing or have done to us. Thanks for your kind support and feedback. Speak your truth, I will always support you. Stay strong.

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      • Thanks. You, too!

        Liked by 1 person

  14. Ah. You hit a nerve with this post, Sweetie! Social media both reflects and helps to shape the cultural climate. I, too, am dismayed (an understatement) at the lack of civility I see many (most) people showing towards others–especially towards those with whom we disagree. When did it become an option to be openly hostile (verbally and physically) in public as a substitute for, oh, let’s say, speaking calmly?

    And because so much of our social discourse/intercourse is written in smaller and smaller bits (bytes), the chances of us reading something that isn’t there in the sender’s words (but is in the receiver’s head or heart) multiply astronomically. There has always been room for misunderstanding, but both the number and form of messages zipping around these days just complicates things in a way we don’t know quite how to handle.

    I am a self-proclaimed social media coward. I stay away and insulate myself from the fray as much as possible. It’s a matter of self-care.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi, Lorna, nice to see you. While not a social media hound yourself, you sure know a lot about the workings of it. What started off as something positive meant to connect us often proves the very thing that disconnects us, sadly. I am not sure I am correct on this but, since the advent of social media it seems we have had much more lashing out in the real world, too. I don’t think social media used to lash out at or abuse others should even be called social media. It is just another form of rage playing out online. Yet, as in the case of Amanda Todd, a local teen driven to suicide, many still indulge in showing us how nasty they are in the most public venue on earth, the internet. Too bad there wasn’t such a thing as “Internet Police” to charge those people with abuse or harassment or at least stop them. I don’t know where we are going as a society when so many are so hostile, angry and out of control. And, yes, I do know there is some goodness to social media but that seems to pale compared to the negativity out there. I don’t think you are a coward at all. I think you are wise and avoiding social media as a form of self care is something I do, too. Glad for your voice on this one, thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’m sure the impersonal nature of social media has something to do with people feeling that they have permission to say whatever they want and say it however they want to say it. But it’s more complicated than that (I think). Along with the infiltration of social media into our daily private lives, our (Western) culture has also shifted into a media-centric one. A few mega-monopolies own all the media outlets and commercial programming is ubiquitous. Unless you make an effort, you can’t get away from “reality” TV (which too many people think of as reality). News has become entertainment based on fear and anyone with the loudest voice gets heard. As attention spans shorten, marketers pander to the lowest common denominator. We live in a market-driven, rude-is-interesting world. I don’t function well in this world at all, so I watch old, black and white films with rotary dial phones and sigh a lot! 😐

        Liked by 2 people

      • Oh how I hear you on not functioning well in this hyped up media obsessed world. Everything you say is true, in my opinion. And I could not say it better so will just leave it at that. Thanks again for chiming in, Lorna. Your wisdom is much appreciated.

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  15. I’m fairly new to social media and resisted it for years because I was too busy living life. I started blogging in an attempt to find a home for a foster dog. I stopped the blogging due to the nature of some of the comments asking for a photo of ME, not the dog! I would like to add that there are many date sites out there if a person is into that. The purpose of my blog was not to get a date, but find the dog a home.

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    • I hear you! If I had a dime for every marriage proposal I have received from (supposedly) high ranking army officials, marines, engineers and business executives, I would be a millionaire. Ok, I exaggerated lol. Almost a millionaire lol. I had no idea they were into bothering bloggers but shall now consider myself warned. I love that you were trying to find a dog a home. I used to volunteer to rescue dogs from vivisection and find them homes. It was so hard on me emotionally, I wanted to save every single one and eventually had to leave the work because I was nightmaring and not sleeping. I did rescue three German Shepherd crosses myself over the years, one lived to 16 and they were the most loving dogs ever. Good on you for helping doggies, love it.

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      • I am very proud of you for trying to find dogs homes. We are very passionate about it and will spend tomorrow at Petco with 5 homeless dogs looking for homes. I also have those military proposals and my f/b and blog clearly mention that I’m married. Phillip’s story ended very well. I am turning the blog into a book with his happy ending. He is helping as a therapy dog in home hospice and nursing homes, and comes back home to us each night. What a treasure this piece of trash turned out to be! We always saw his special glow. You take care and thanks for following the blog that ended without an end.

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      • That is so awesome you are writing a book about your dog experiences. Sounds great and I look forward to reading it. Wishing you all the best. And, of course, all the very best to your furry friends 😊

        Liked by 1 person

    • Lorna, I’m sorry you had that bad experience with your blog. I hated all those dating sites online! Hey, I’m wondering if you found a home for your foster dog and how it is doing? You don’t know me, but I can be trusted. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  16. Phew – I thought it was just me getting ‘old’ and sounding like my granddad did when I was young when I struggle to keep up with all the different social media out there – it’s never ending and all consuming if we allow it to be. I’m sticking to your idea of ‘checking in and getting out’ so we can ‘live life’ as well. x

    Liked by 2 people

    • Never thought of sounding like our grandparents but I do lol! All the things they or my parents didn’t like still ring in my ears. And on the topic of social media I sound like their echo lol. I agree, more real life, less electronic gadgets. I just heard on a documentary these electronic gadgets are making us fat and lazy. That is scary, too, definitely not healthy for us mentally or physically if used too much. Sigh. Balance is the key but many can’t do balance, they are too addicted. Ooops, I digress. Thanks for your feedback, so validating. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Know your purpose, my all-time favorite. It’s got to be about something greater than attention seeking or ego stroking. Thanks for stopping by to check out Creativity as Resistance: My Will to Live. Much appreciated!

    Liked by 2 people

  18. Reblogged this on ReBirth: The Pursuit of Porsha and commented:
    This is Bitchin’. And, spot on.!!! 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  19. A comprehensive post, Janni. I’ve had great luck with WP and seem to engage with like-minded supportive people. That said, I tend not to follow blogs hosted by “trolls.” I use the other platforms far less and have no problem unfollowing anyone who is not “fun and social.”

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for the read! You are so right about the wordpress.com blogosphere. I find it very different and much more enjoyable than the social sites. Thinking this is where my online time deserves to be. Have a great day.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. I also feel my experience of blogging (so far) has been much more positive, although after an incident in Twitter that was a misunderstanding over nothing, I realised the best policy (unless you really know the person you’re engaging with) is to not respond (and yes, block if they insist). Most people who post nasty comments or (senseless ones) seem eager for a fight and if one doesn’t engage they move on (on one occasion I had shared a pretty innocuous post about mini libraries and somebody decided that was taking money away from authors… ? I write too but I think encouraging reading is good in its own right, my books or anybody else’s). A writer I know replied to the comment and it went from bad to worse. I told her to ignore it (I didn’t reply) and blocked him but… People seem so eager to say something, and it’s the idea of the one that shouts louder (combined with crowd mentality and the fact that one doesn’t seem to have to take any responsibility, whilst in other arenas people would be sued). Sad… I like your rules. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • So true, so many online just seem ready to pounce based on their assumptions rather than asking questions. Online trolls and stalkers do seem to have more of a presence on Social Media than in our blogoshere here, thank goodness. Agree, ignoring and blocking is best because they love it too much when we “bite.”

      Like

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