Last Night

Last night I could feel tears welling and kept trying to stop them. When I was finally unable to contain them, I let loose and cried for twenty minutes solid.

I cried for all who are suffering or losing loved ones. I cried for all the little ones ill or otherwise overburdened by life. I cried for all those loved ones who have crossed over before me. I cried for people who are separated from their loved ones by geographical or other distances.

I cried for all the haters that they can’t see how they are wasting their very own precious life moments. I cried because my life has been so full of stress since the middle of October. I cried because people have been and still are bullied into taking their own lives.

I cried because people won’t just live and let live. I cried for my parents because, even though it wasn’t likely so, they could fix most anything when I was little, it seemed. I cried for those who resist common sense. I cried for those who are lost with nobody even caring to find them.

I cried because I have seen so much ugliness these past few months. I cried for people who are losing their loved ones to terminal diseases or conditions. I cried because there isn’t a thing I can do about any of this.

When it was over I realized I wasn’t sad or despondent, just emotionally over charged. Then it struck me. It wasn’t crying in the true sense, it was more like tearful prayers for all I cannot control. Tearful, heartfelt prayers that all will be well.

Amen
❤️❤️❤️

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16 thoughts on “Last Night

  1. Dry those tears, or some numpty’s going to think this is another post-election post. 😉 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    • LOL No chance. I had a couple of months from hell and I am a Canadian in Canada so there is nothing I can do about their election either way lol

      Liked by 3 people

      • Believe me, Canadians have been getting flak recently.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yes I know, I was one of them. I just blocked the idiots and moved on. No point getting upset about irrational people who lash out blindly. They weren’t even making any sense. Just doing their silly blame game stuff. I can only be patient for so long before I just cut them loose. They will soon find another to feed on. My feed still has ranters going on about the election so I just unfollow asap. I need good things to read not that asinine vitriol. 😉

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  2. Hee hee, your comment there ses it all!!!! Good for and on yah Jenni. x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sending hope and prayers for your difficult times. I have been experiencing some bad times for several monthfelt much the same way, last night I prayed for God to help me through the the tears and fears. Hugs sweetie!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hugs and best wishes to you, hoping things improve for you as soon as possible. I have a friend who calls this the fall from hell because they suddenly lost their daughter in early October. Others, including some dear relatives, are battling health crises or other massive challenges. We had a small party of five for Thanksgiving dinner, one of whom was my adopted dad in law. He called me after our dinner together at 1 am, was in severe pain, couldn’t breathe right and his son rushed him to hospital where he spent the next four days getting stabilized. He is slowly recovering from this heart glitch, apparently it stemmed from a heart attack he had years ago. My income is very low as I have multiple chronic health conditions and can no longer work. My ex was court ordered to pay me an amount that, after rent and bills leaves me $98 per month to live on. Due to his alcoholism he has been late or missed and now tells me for the last three weeks there will be no payment in November meaning I must scramble, beg or borrow somehow because landlords do not wait for rent. On top of this he called me upset because he had no food, his money went to the casino or the liquor store. I gave him my last $25 and then he asked again two days later but I just didn’t have it so I gave him what food I could spare out of my own kitchen cupboards. I know it is all his own fault and he has missed so much work his own November rent is still bounced/NSF. All of this has triggered my health conditions so badly I am in bed 12-15 hours a day due to the pain. Luckily or perhaps not so lucky for my readers, lol, I can still use this gadget from my bed. Anyway, there is much more, including a stressful crazy neighbour lady who thinks she is my landlord and even treats the landlords like this is her property. But I won’t bore you with more, my brain is tiring already. Just shared to say so many of us have had or are still having a rough fall. None of it compares to my friend’s daughter suddenly dying, never will. But it’s still been a stressful fall for everyone I know. Here is hoping the stars align for much kinder times for all of us.

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  4. Wow, so sorry about your friends daughter that is the worst that can happen. I hope you get that miracle of help for your finances, I am in the same financial stress, which makes my illness worse as well. They say it is always darkest before the dawn….I’m waiting on the dawn for both of us.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Hi Janni, sometimes you just NEED to get it out….catharsis.

    You cried for the World not yourself and you ended up in prayer and relief. I cried most of the night for myself. Shame on me and Blessings on you. ~~dru~~

    Liked by 2 people

    • I think you are right, sometimes we just need to let it out. Please don’t feel bad for crying for yourself, that is really quite human. Been there, too, just couldn’t see my way out of a burdensome situation. But slowly, ever so slowly, the light crept in and lifted some of the load so I wasn’t walking so stooped. Love and light to you Dru. Keeping you lifted in thoughts and prayers. Life can be rough so it helps to know hearts like yours are out there. Hugs. ❤️❤️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Empathy and Tolerance, the name of two Loons. Their cry you can hear from a thousand miles away.

    My mother passed in April unexpectedly. I discovered her. Tears help. Crying is cleansing and filtering. So I guess I understand this. Crying connects us to the anguish of others – kinda like tying two tin cans together with string. It can not possibly work, but it does.

    Liked by 3 people

    • First I need to say how sorry I am for your loss. There is no loss that compares to losing a mother. I hear your cry and answer it with a song. Not my song. The song of the loons who connect over the miles without benefit of string or tin cans. The human divide closes when mourning unites us. I lost my mother a few years ago and while it was expected, it still left us all reeling. Sending you lots of positive vibes along with a ton of human compassion. Thank you for dropping by and leaving your always poetic messages. You are one unique individual I am so glad to know.

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      • Thank you.

        This pass summer while in Churchover Nova Scotia I listened to two loons in the middle of the night. One was just off shore, the other some five miles away in Shelbourne harbour; just vaguely could I make out it’s trill. One would cry out then the other responded back. They did this for over an hour. Then the one in Shelbourne stopped. Mine, the one just off shore, cried back several times without a reply back. I could only see the Loon’s silhouette in the moonlight. It stopped swimming. Simply letting the tide take it out, into the darkness. Swept away by loneliness, I thought. But in the morning as the sun raised, My Loon returned with mate in-tow.

        Liked by 1 person

      • You are very welcome, keeping you in my thoughts. Such a beautiful experience with the loons, thank you for sharing this. It left me feeling I was actually there in the land where my parents were both born, the land where my First Nations tribe originates from. You have reminded me of my own connections, thank you. Listening to the loons is a wonderful healing gift.

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