I Hate Christmas!!!

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“I hate Christmas!”

The first time I heard these words, I was shocked. How could anyone hate Christmas? My startled ears couldn’t believe what they were hearing. Curiosity getting the better of me, I just had to start asking people, “Why do you hate Christmas?” And, boy, did the answers startle me just as much.

One person said, “I hate the greed of it all. We have overstuffed and over-privileged people running around becoming more stuffed and more privileged as though nothing in the world outside their bubble even exists.”

I could grasp this. Having seen one too many fur coated parcel bearing woman or man walk right in front of me as though I didn’t exist to step into their spanking new Mercedes has left me gob smacked more than once. It always strikes me odd that we have people on one side of the globe worrying about their cottages or multiple homes while those on the other side of the globe have none.  I believe some over privileged could take a page out of J.K. Rowling’s book of life on the matter of “giving back.” So, I could relate and told this person so. But that still wouldn’t make me hate Christmas, it is not Christmas’s fault people behave poorly, as some humans do.

Another person said every Christmas just reminds her of all the people she no longer has to celebrate it with, her parents and a sister all passed on before her. Even though she is long married with kids of her own, she said Christmas still feels hollow to her without her loved ones, her memories still hurt her and cause her sorrow instead of gladdening her heart.

This I can understand, too. This is also why I say “love your people fastly, you never know how long you will have them for.” Telling those you love that you love them as often as possible is the only remedy I know of to honor those already gone on. It takes time for the healing of memory and we need to go gentle on ourselves until we are there. Making the most of our moments, even in the face of sorrow, is the only thing that ever works for me, helps me realize all we ever really have is here and now.

Another said it is a horrible time of year when families gather to watch relatives get tanked to the gills while everything from arguing about how to make the gravy or who can out arm wrestle one another turns into a free for all brawl that pretty much lasts until the New Year. I don’t do Christmas anymore, she said. I hide away telling people I am away or I actually go away, even if only to the next town over, anyplace I don’t have to be part of all that squabbling and annual bitterness.

This I can also understand. While most of my childhood memories of Christmas are happy, not all of them are. Too much drinking by too many adults who didn’t learn to control themselves properly blurred over some of our childhood Christmases. Seems their arguing was far more important to them than us kids, standing around looking distressed and confused because, hey, what happened to Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and “It’s a Wonderful Life?”

While other answers included “commercialization” or exclusion, the one that came up time and again was people feeling lonely. They didn’t feel a “part of the holiday” because they weren’t part of a “unit.” There are other reasons people hate Christmas, I am sure, but not being part of a family or a couple or a close knit group really strikes some hard at Christmas more than any other time of the year.

I can understand this as well. Not everyone has the good fortune to have family, be in a couple or be part of a close knit group. There were a couple of Christmases I sat the day out. Just listened to music, made myself toast with peanut butter, tea, ate oranges and read. It was really okay and I was glad I did it. Joining in on anything during those particular Christmases would have meant some hurting in some way or another and I needed to avoid that. And I did.

Is spending Christmas alone something that works for everyone? Probably not. Most of us are happier when we engage with others, if only briefly. Still, whether we are missing a loved one who has passed on or a long term relationship has ended, many are left alone to try and make the most of what can be a very trying time of year. As a huge supporter of allowing humans to feel what they feel, to process their feelings and sometimes just let them be, I personally know the pain of trying to “shut it all off” for the sake Christmas.

While I can’t say much to ease that kind of pain or longing, I can appreciate a hatred of Christmas and even join in with a hateful word or two of my own.

I hate Christmas for you. I hate that there is nothing I can do to make your Christmas better. I hate that there is nothing I can say to change your loneliness, exclusion, frustrations or sorrows. I hate that greed and commercialization rule the Christmas roost, too.

I, too, long for the day when gathering fragrant bows from the woods to place around the home while sharing a festive meal in a cozy setting is the priority instead of losing days to the mall and running ourselves ragged for what will barely be a blip on the screens of our lives. I hate that for all we humans think we have advanced, we often still sink to the nearest common denominator when it comes to all the Christmas hype.

So, there it is. I hate Christmas, too. But I also love some things no one can take away and these things will always move me no matter what else is or is not going on. The music and the faerie lights (as my mum-in-law called them) have always touch my heart and, as I find myself breaking into song, a tear or two may fall because the loved one I once sang this song with is no longer here.

As the days grow darker and the long black nights almost punishing, I love seeing the cheering faerie lights everywhere. They remind me of all the love and light there is in the world in spite of all the greedy, over-privileged and selfish humans. The lights remind me that humans don’t have to stay that way, that we, too, can change our “colors” if we want to or “twinkle” a little brighter for a kindness we extend to another. Hating Christmas might be the very thing that sparks a new tradition, a better way of being in the world that others may follow. There is always hope.

And I hope for those of you who hate Christmas that you will find something all your own this year and claim it. Taking a walk in the snow with camera in hand for unique and memorable nature captures, ordering a festive drink in the local coffee house with no handheld gadget going – just sitting sipping quietly to enjoy people watching or listening, borrowing a library book you might never have chosen before and reading the entire volume over Christmas, calling some people you miss for a phone visit, inviting another who will be alone to join you for the day or part of the day, going to see a movie, anything, it doesn’t have to be big or costly, just something all yours you decide to do. Who knows, it might just erode that hatred of Christmas enough that you will find yourself enjoying yourself.

This is my Christmas wish for you. Merry Christmas Everyone. Wishing you all hope filled hearts and peaceful souls.

❤ ❤ ❤

© Janni Styles

 

 

 

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26 thoughts on “I Hate Christmas!!!

  1. Merry Christmas Janni ! I loved your ideas for the lonely or hating the season hype of others.

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  2. I hate and love Christmas, I love the ideas, I love buying presents, I love having big meals with big families BUT I can’t afford to buy presents anymore and hate that, I love eating but can hardly eat more than three bites without my digestive system get so messed up I can hardly stand, I love my family but they also get on my nerves. I hate Christmas but I HATE it too…. Great Post! ~dru~
    https://saywhatumean2say.com/2016/12/19/christmas-time-is-here/

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    • Thank you for reading and sharing your link, can’t wait to read it. Appreciate your sharing of your own love/hate relationship with Christmas. Thanks, Dru, I relate to some of your joys and not so joyful experiences, money and health can really take a toll on us. Wishing you everything wonderful over the holidays! And most of all, some merriment and memories all your own. ❤ ❤ ❤

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  3. Very heartfelt article. I have the same hope that we all find our way to experience a moment of joy in this Christmas season, yet my mind roams at times to those unfortunate souls on the streets. ❤

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    • I hear you, Olga. We have a lot of homeless here, too. A friend’s daughter buys 50-100 burgers, whatever she can afford each year, from MacDonalds and passes them out to people who need them. We all do our little bit and it all adds up to something big. Merry Christmas to you and yours! Wishing you a joyous New Year as well. ❤️❤️❤️

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  4. I don’t think anything will ever make me love Christmas. The overwhelming cultural pressure during the two-month, or even three-month lead-up makes me realise what it must feel like to live in a political oligarchy like North Korea. It’s impossible to escape it.

    And if you consider the religious side, it’s not even as though Christ told us to celebrate his birthday! He did tell us to do a hell of a lot of things that fly out of the fecking window, however.

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    • I understand. While I can’t say I love it 100%, there are elements I like. Spending money is not one of them because I don’t have any. Lol. It is a long drawn out event, isn’t it. Wonder what is so wrong with our world that people need to feed the machine so much. It is impossible to escape, you are right. Hope you have a peaceful few days and a very joyous 2017, Marie. ❤️❤️❤️

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      • A joyous 2017 will happen for me if fate stops taking away the good guys and starts taking away some of the bad guys.

        The WORST guy to die in 2016 was someone who was passionate about public health, public education, and anti-colonialism. Next year we need to even the balance.

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      • Yes, I agree Let’s hope this new year wields a kinder cut. We lost so many great people in this past year. Too many too soon.

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  5. Merry Christmas Janni. I am much like you I think, in that I love Christmas, can’t help it. My Christmas decorations (and photos) are the only things I managed to retain all these years. I have literally lost everything else, but that was not by mistake, I kept them safe in rubbermaids in my mothers basement.
    It has always been about fresh wreaths and arrangements, traditions, tons of great food and the kids for me.
    I have been all alone on Christmas and some Christmases, like last year, was celebrated a week early and it was one of my best Christmases ever and it turned out to be a very special Christmas because my son’s best friend was with us and he died a few months later.
    I have given up expectations, it never was about the gifts, I make as many gifts as I am able, I miss cooking this year because I don’t have a proper kitchen. I miss seeing my grand daughter at Christmas but it is what it is…………I still love Christmas but I find I need to go off on my own or for a walk with Stella and get away from the noise, over exuberance, over drinking. I go off by myself, take a deep breath, calm my soul and then go back for more. People have gotten used to me disappearing for 10 or 15 minutes.
    I think Christmas can be whatever someone wants it to be and as you said, make it their own in whatever way feels good for them. Let go of the expectations and what people tell you, you “should” be doing and do what you want.
    Wishing you a peace filled 2017 and I hope Christmas everything you want it to be my friend.
    Love and hugs
    Carrie

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    • So well said, Carrie. Glad to read about your Christmases, thanks for sharing your memories with us. So special that you had that last Christmas with your son’s best friend. Amid all the hustle and bustle I always need alone time, too, so I truly understand your walks with Stella. Letting go of expectations is a great idea. My dad always said, “Don’t expect anything, that way you’ll never be disappointed.” So true. Sending you lots of hugs and warm wishes for a Happy Christmas and a Joyous New Year, Carrie.

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  6. Merry, merry Christmas my special Janni.I could not agree more with this post. If I’d a quid for every time my own Mr said that I’d be able to clear the third world debt! I know he hates the greed of it all but come on. I love Christmas and I am tired telling him it is not about the greed unless you make it that way. There is nothing better for me than seeing my family gathered round the table laughing, having fun. A great and true post as always.

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    • What a lovely visual, the family all gathered, laughing and having fun. Not all families can or are willing to do that, sadly. I saw your pictures of your home and love how you decorate, your home should be featured in Victoria Magazine, it is so cozy, quaint and simply Christmassy! Thank you for stopping by Shehanne, much love and many hugs. Merry Christmas to you and yours. ❤️❤️❤️

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  7. Sometimes being alone to do our own thing is a blessing… Merry Christmas

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    • I agree. The social pressures are high at this time of year and not all of us are so social. I have to choose what I feel up to and forget the rest. Not sure if being a writer requires so much solitude or whether that is just my innate nature. Either way, if I don’t withdraw when necessary I can end up sick for a week. Taking good care of ourselves is never wrong. Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year 🎄🎄🎄

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  8. I understand ~ Christmas can be a reminder of those who have passed away.. as you say let’s love those around us now as we never know how long any of us will be here xx HUGS ~ I wish you a very Merry Xmas and all the best for 2017 ❤ 🙂

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  9. Great post, Janni! So many thoughts come to mind as a person who has a pattern of eschewing holidays, crowds, and general hubbub.

    Hate. Such a loaded word, eh? The opposite of love isn’t hate, though; it’s indifference. So those who hate Christmas (as you so effectively point out) are equally as passionate about those who love it, but for the opposite reasons.

    I can identify with those who “hate” Christmas for most, if not all, of the reasons you list. But I’ve become rather blasé about this holiday (and all the others, even my birthday). My attitude is this: every day (moment, really) is special, so pay equal attention to every day. I don’t make a big production out of every day. That would be silly and bankrupt me emotionally (and financially). No. I pause and notice. I make a point to be kind and smile. I reach out to my family and friends. Do I do it enough? No. But I do it more than a few times a year during holidays.

    That said, Namaste, Janni. May love, light, and genuine smiles find you every day; and may you continue to reflect back to the world your inner divine spirit. ❤

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